Fifth Post: How to Live and Let Be!

Anthony de Mello's "Self-Observation"

What is the most important thing you can do when no one can help you?

The most important thing that anyone can do is to do some "self-observation". What de Mello means by this is that there can only one of you taking the center in your life at a time. Have you ever had a backseat driver while you're driving in the car? Well, it's the same thing. Sometimes in anything, you just need to watch what's going on. We tend to make the situation worse by trying to take the wheel while someone is already driving. It'll only confuse you. We have to learn to take a breath, figure out and understand the situation, then it will naturally correct itself. So the next time someone says watch yourself, really watch and see what you are doing instead of taking the "wheel".

What is the difference between self-observation and self-absorption? What is self-observation?

What self-observation is, in essence, is to watch yourself from a detached, non-judgmental point of view. The point of this is to understand what is it that you're doing before you do it or as you are doing it. Since the key thing is to understand yourself, there is no technique, nor script, nor how to guide to make you understand your personal being. This is tricky because it's one of the many things in life that you're going to have to figure out on your own. Self-Absorption is almost it's opposite. You are so invested in making sure that what you are doing is right, when by doing so you are losing sight of the point of doing it in the first place. When a cloud in the sky is floating by in the breeze, but you go and decide to move it one way or the other out of preference, then the cloud isn't doing it's job as a cloud which is to just float there until the end of it's journey. You are actually hindering it's job that was already fine to begin with because of your personal perception.

Why do we suffer?

We are disillusioned to the idea that we are the embodiment of our feelings and emotions. In fact, it could be seen as the other way around. Our emotions and preferences are the products of the presence and function of our being. These things that we convinced ourselves to be are ephemeral and ever changing. I could have easily had a sad emotion this morning and in the evening I might have expressed a happy emotion for something else. These feelings are fine. They help us and are involved with everyday life, but they are not the set or permanent things that inhabit us. If we learn to let go one feeling for the next between moments, then life would be so much easier to cope with.

Anthony De Mello uses the analogy of the sky and clouds to speak about the relationship between our true "self" and our thoughts/emotions/different states of life. How does he define the the self/"I"?

De Mello thinks of the sky itself as an analogy to the "observer-self" that we have inside. I guess you can call this the "main-stage ego". The conscious "I" that experiences and takes in the world as it is. the one that we use to communicate. The one that we use for objective and subjective thinking. The one that we use to analyze information and finds a solution. And the clouds are an analogy to the "action-self". You can call this the "backstage" ego. This is the subconscious "I" that can be described as the subconscious mind, the reactor, or the hidden side. This ego is the one that forms the control center for the human emotion i.e. the instinctual part of the mind. This also considered the "doer" in the relationship between the other ego, which is the "thinker". These sides are considered independent of one another because they do act independent of the other ego from time to time. However, they can and most of the time influence the other into doing what they want depending on the situation. The fact is, we have to separate the two in order to find the pure acting self that just reacts to what is going on in that moment and have the main-stage ego just watch.

If you understand things they will do what?

If you understand things, they will automatically fall into place. Just that plain and simple. If the body and the mind take the time to understand how is does the thins it does and why, then there will be even more of a harmony between them and you discover what works and what doesn't based on the situation.

Finish the sentence from 5:25: "What you judge, you..."

DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Reflection:

I think that de Mello is trying to say that identifying as your emotions is not the right way to go because that would be making all of yourself one thing, an ephemeral thing, and that's not what you are. I think he was saying that the parts of the sum individually are not the whole in and of itself. You can't say that the cloud is the sky, when the sky is not made up of just clouds. (Sun, rain, rainbows, wind, etc.) The "I" that most of the time that I refer to that makes the decision saying "I am not myself" would be the observer "I" that I was going on about in one of the previous questions. Of course I can refer to the other or both at the same time and the both would be considered "I" in that context. But as a present and logical/emotional being I would have to say which ever one that I'm in tune or aware of at the time. I don't feel comfortable about making a list about the parts that I think are precious qualities of me because I would like to think that I leave that up to who I interact with because relationships and the value of parts of me change according to each person. But if I were to choose some and present them, I would still consider them to be only a part of the whole and not the whole itself. I'm in constant evolution of myself so these things too can be replaced by others according to what the future has in store and how I handle them. Plus, there are parts of me that I haven't discovered yet, so there is no basis saying that this is all of me as I am and here are the best parts. I don't even know how to begin quantifying what is more important to say that this is me and this is the best of me. Tim! Why you do this?

Angela Bradshaw on the "Alexander Technique"

What happens when we experience fear, stress and anxiety? Why?

We start to become narrower, more tense and smaller. This is an indication that your flight or fight response is taking over your body and you are unable to do anything else.

The Alexander Technique does what?

It gives is the freedom to choose what we want to do with our bodies.

Finish the sentence (4:10ish) "Nature would prefer..."

US TO BE IN BALANCE!

What are the three points of contact for the foot?

The base of the big toe, the base of the small toe and the base of the heel.

What are the three hinges in our legs?

The ankles, the knees, and the hip joint.

Where are the hip joints?

They are the bony protrusions under the waist line of the hips.

Allow the pelvis to be heavy like an....?

ANCHOR!

Where is the top of the spine?

It is in line at ear level.

Reflection:

In my opinion, connection between the mind and the body is finding the harmony of being conscious about the body without trying to be the back seat driver to it. You can only give it guide lines and provisions about what it should and shouldn't do consciously and the rest is up to itself.

Fourth Post: Get Out of My Way!

Playing the Game of Life

What does our society tell our children?

Society has this process of conditioning children of going to school and preparing and preparing for the future. We are in a constant need for getting things done. What's next? Where do I go now? What's next to learn? What do I want to be? How do I get to this ideal point in my life? You go to school and think about everything that's coming and then once it's happened you take on the next thing which is sometimes even harder.

What is our society's "preparation" in life?

The preparation that society tell us that is basically required to do is school. School. School.

School... And, oh look that's new! More school! We are sent to preschool, then elementary, then high school, then college if you ever want to have a good chance at a decent living. Then maybe Graduate School. Technical School. A school for the arts. Schools for things that are absolutely required if you ever want to be in that profession.  Then when we actually get into that job I think that there is some sort of cycle that we are going through and someone is spamming the repeat button so hard!

When one arrives, Watts claims that he or she often feels cheated. Why?

Well, because you have basically spent a good portion of your life preparing in school that sometimes you won't even need in order to work for the ultimate goal for retirement. Once we are in retirement, where we are supposed to have enough money and time to do whatever we want, but by then we are too old and tired to actually do the things that we want. I basically feel like life's used tissue. 

What is the final goal of our society?

RETIREMENT! But I have no idea why it should be. You are just too old to work. Something that should happen so naturally whether or not you're thinking about it is being revered and anticipated as the final stage in our lives. This is a terrifying notion to think about. Does my life really end when I have enough money and old? I don't think so! Life is full of other goal and achievements that are waiting to be done. Whether I have work or not doesn't change the fact that life has new things and new aspects that we have never explored. I'm not going to wait around for one thing or the other to happen when it can right now. Abhorrent conventions of society are expected, things worth enjoying in life are not. Take life moment by moment.

What is the problem for living ever for the future?

We are not taking things by the moment they come. I tend to think of life as a river of energy or the waves of an ocean. Moments come, they live, they excite and they die without our permission. If we are too busy for the now, because our minds are in the future then there is no purpose for the now. Just like the ocean, you can enjoy the energy of one small, gentile wave or you can try to take on the tsunami that is sure to come.

The Secret of Life

What is the Chinese word for nature? What does it mean?

The Chinese word for nature is zìrán, which means something that which happens of itself.  Not under any control under an outside boss.

According to Watts, you stop the spontaneous flowering nature by doing what to it?

Spontaneity is, by definition, something that happens without premeditation or external cause. If we try to take command and be the cause of the action that has no cause, then it essentially loses its beauty and purpose of just being there. Life becomes too calculated and and we are pressuring something that is to fit into a design rather than making a design out of something that is.

According to Watts, what are human beings?

We are the every fabric of existence. We are no less in reality than a flower, or a bug, or a star. We are what we are.

What is the secret of life according to Watts?

The choice of reveling in existing in life. Life is just one huge parade of existence. So join the party!

You're Already Awesome!

What was Dr. Brewer's Experience of Flow?

He was a bike rider, which he did in the mountains.

According to the Harvard study mentioned by Brewer, what percentage of time do we get caught up in thinking?

About 50%. Which is so true especially for me!

Finish this sentence: A wandering mind is "..."

An UNHAPPY mind.

What happens to the brain during meditation?

We are thinking about thinking instead of putting in our minds in a state of mindfulness and not control freak mode. Certain part of the brain gets stimulated which is an indicator of thinking about what you are doing.

In nine minutes, the test subject mentioned by Brewer learned the difference between what?

That there is a difference about thinking and about just letting it happen and feeling what is.

Reflection:

Well, about everything that we've learned I think that there is truth to the allowing of the body to do what it has to according to what is given. In acting, we are put into an atmosphere where there is nothing but action and reaction to everything around us. The same thing can be said about most things in life. But the problem is is that we are trying to micro manage and predict something about to happen instead of facing things or moments one at a time. I think that whatever you do, you can do them if you take them in small doses like moments of time.

Third Post: An Empire State of Mindfulness!

What is mindfulness?

How does Dr. Kabat-Zinn define mindfulness?

Dr. Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as paying attention or being absolutely attentive to the present moment going on. It's the one part of the state of being that allows you to experience life and feel the moments passing you by.

Why, according to Dr. Kabat-Zinn, does our "life depend" upon mindfulness?

Our lives depend on being mindful because it's an absolute necessary element of survival in our world. If we were on a battle field or facing a ferocious beast, we would have to be attentive to what the others are doing. But not only that we would have to be open for a reaction that might come with what we perceive. Most people think that being mindful is just a state of mind but it's the harmony within the physical body and the mind that provides for a genuine and unfiltered reaction to things in an instant.

Does it matter what thing or things you pay attention to?

Yes and no. Paying attention is not something that can be applied subjectively because we all have different value systems of importance. The point of being mindful is that you do it often enough in your everyday life so that your perception on life isn't weighed too heavily or too little. You are just simply taking it moment by moment rather than taking it all on in that instant.

Is Mindfulness a technique? 

No. There are ways getting to a state of mindfulness, but there is no true how to rule saying that this is what you have to do to achieve mindfulness. It's different for everybody.

All It Takes Is 10 Minutes

What does Andy suggest we "do" for at least 10 minutes each day?

He suggests that we take 10 minutes out of our busy day in life and just sit down and do nothing. That's it. And when he means nothing, he means "nothing". No texting, no talking, no thinking. ZIP!

According to the Harvard study cited by Andy, what % of time are our minds lost in thought?

We spend about 47% of time just being lost in thought and not really taking in what's going on. Sad day for human race.

Is Mindfulness about controlling our thoughts and feelings? If yes, explain. If not, explain.

Well, no. It's probably the exact opposite. When we are trying to stay mindful or get into the state of mindfulness, the point of being there is to let things flow as it is but in a way that you're aware of. No judgments, no hinderances. We have to let things pass by in an instant, but see the beauty of it while it's there. It would be impossible to control every thought, every feeling, and everything that goes on in our lives. If we could, then most of us would have done it a long time ago. In acting, or anything for that matter, there is no point of calling it "real" when you are just gonna select what you perceive and not have the full enjoyment out of it.

How does Andy's juggling with the three red balls relate to our activity of balancing sticks?

Just like us with the sticks, he had to be present with the balls. However, if he were to focused then eventually he would have dropped them. He would have been too focused on the end goal with the balls and not everything going on around him, including talking to the audience. The same could be said on the flip side. He would have been so unfocused that he would have dropped the balls and not connected with the audience as well. I guess you can say that the happy medium between both is a second circle.